I no longer believe that we can change anything in the world until we first change ourselves. And that seems to me the only lesson to be learned. Etty Hillesum
Etty Hillesum, like Anne Frank, was arrested by the Nazis and transported to camp Westerbork. And, like Anne Frank, she wrote diaries of her experiences before her arrest. Etty continued to write at Westerbork, documenting not just the atrocities taking place around her, but the inward transformation taking place within her.
Though surrounded by evil, she chose to immerse herself in the good she believed permeated even her increasing darkness. At Westerbork she wrote, “The sky is full of birds, the purple lupins stand up so regally and peacefully, two little old women have sat down for a chat, the sun is shining on my face – and right before our eyes, mass murder….
“Those two months behind barbed wire have been the two richest and most intense months of my life, in which my highest values were so deeply confirmed. I have learnt to love Westerbork.”
Etty Hillesum wrote these words not long before she was ushered aboard a train to Auschwitz. There, in the crowded boxcar, she wrote her last known words on a postcard that she then tossed out of the train. It read, “We left the camp singing…”
When evil and suffering surround us, it is easy to let the darkness take hold of us and become part of us. We know no other response than to fight back in rage or attempt to escape the pain with unhealthy distractions or curl up in the fetal position on the floor and weep.
Those will be our responses if we immerse ourselves in the shadows we face. But where there is shadow, there is light.
It is not easy to overcome the darkness. We need help. The good news is we have it. We have been invited to immerse ourselves in a new way of thinking and living. We are designed to walk in this light.
But in order to let go of our current way of thinking and living, we must first immerse ourselves over a period of time fully in the light until it begins to penetrate the darkness within us.
Source Scripture
Connect
Twitter: @AwestruckPod
Email: info@awestruckpodcast.com
Extras
The Awestruck Podcast musical playlist
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Resources to Explore the Life of Etty Hillesum
Book: An Interrupted Life
Book: A Life Transformed
Control and manipulation are not love; the outcome is a life of imprisonment ultimately leading to deep-rooted feelings of resentment. Ken Poirot (Poy-row)
Control. It is one of humanity’s greatest addictions. We crave it. We seek it. And we believe that if we obtain it, the high we feel will equate to happiness.
But it doesn’t. And it never will.
In our last episode, we talked about the addiction to the approval of others – a cheap imitation of divine love. Today, we will delve into the gripping addiction of control, which cloaks itself as a pathway to peace, but in reality, robs us of the very thing we seek.
Here is the addiction cycle. We feel anxiety within – something isn’t quite right. And all we can think of is quelling that gnawing sense of angst that grows within. Our normal response alleviate anxiety is to seek an outward change in scenery or circumstance or the subservience of our royal subjects. And to induce this desired change, we create a strategy.
This strategy requires rules. Rules like, “If I can just be left alone for the first 30 minutes of the morning with my coffee, then I’ll be happy.” Or maybe, “No car is allowed in the passing lane if it isn’t passing or I will be unjustifiably hindered and upset.” These are just a few, simple and almost comical rules that some of us have. But this addiction is no laughing matter. Some of us have complicated, deep-seated rules that are seldom met and leave us riddled with anxiety.
Some rules are, let’s be honest, must-haves. For example, “I must be free of abuse in order to be at peace” is a valid rule. But today we’re talking about rules that go beyond basic needs and fall into the category of entitlement.
When we feel entitled, we create rules or we appropriate existing rules that we think will get us what we desire. And we almost always tailor the rules so that they benefit us, even if it means that others are shut out from getting what they want. Control subjugates others. They become necessary slaves to our rules.
The logical conclusion of this strategy of living – this addiction to control – is increased anxiety, fleeting pleasures, never-ending stalemates between your rules and those of others, exhaustion, and unhappiness. Like a long-time addict, the pursuit of the “control” substance takes a terrible toll.
There is an alternative, though. A way that leads to freedom from addiction and the experience of true peace.
And that is the subject of today’s episode.
Source Scripture
Relinquish Control: Matthew 12:1-8; Mark 2:23-28; Luke 6:1-5
Connect
Twitter: @AwestruckPod
Email: info@awestruckpodcast.com
Extras
The Awestruck Podcast musical playlist
(Apple I Spotify)