The paradox of vengefulness is that it makes men dependent upon those who have harmed them, believing that their release from pain will come only when their tormentors suffer. Laura Hillenbrand
When we are wronged, we feel out of balance. Our knee jerk reaction is to restore balance with an equal but opposing force. This, we reason, should even the score.
Such an approach fits neatly into a broader, largely unquestioned paradigm of living that we will call the quid pro quomindset. I will give something to you if you give something to me. I will love you if you love me back. I will forgive you if you forgive me. I will ___________ as long as you do the same.
The expected result of quid pro quo living is balance and harmony. Everyone does something for everyone else in equal measure and there is much rejoicing.
A closer look at quid pro quo, though, leads not to the expected balance in our relationships. Instead, we withhold generosity while waiting on others to give to us first. And when everyone assumes this same posture, frustration sets in. Over time, this frustration crystallizes into jade – creating an unbalanced quality of being.
Frozen in this state, we wait for all others to make the first move towards us. And if that move is not in our favor, our internal angst drives us to label it as on offense – whether real or not.
Quid pro quo demands that any offense be met with defense, and so we do the only thing we know how. We strike back, whether passively or aggressively, or some combination of both.
And when we strike back, they strike back, and on and on it goes, creating an unthinkable, undesirable, unsustainable way to live – a decaying orbit destined to burn us all out.
And yet, there is another way. The way of peace. Love. Balance. And it comes not by taking an eye for an eye, but by turning the other cheek.
Source Scripture
Matthew
Connect
Twitter: @AwestruckPod
Email: info@awestruckpodcast.com
Extras
The Awestruck Podcast musical playlist
(Apple I Spotify)
For Further Contemplation
Leviticus 19:18; Proverbs 20:22; 1 Samuel 24
Recommended Reading
Unoffendable by Brant Hansen