Control and manipulation are not love; the outcome is a life of imprisonment ultimately leading to deep-rooted feelings of resentment. Ken Poirot (Poy-row)
Control. It is one of humanity’s greatest addictions. We crave it. We seek it. And we believe that if we obtain it, the high we feel will equate to happiness.
But it doesn’t. And it never will.
In our last episode, we talked about the addiction to the approval of others – a cheap imitation of divine love. Today, we will delve into the gripping addiction of control, which cloaks itself as a pathway to peace, but in reality, robs us of the very thing we seek.
Here is the addiction cycle. We feel anxiety within – something isn’t quite right. And all we can think of is quelling that gnawing sense of angst that grows within. Our normal response alleviate anxiety is to seek an outward change in scenery or circumstance or the subservience of our royal subjects. And to induce this desired change, we create a strategy.
This strategy requires rules. Rules like, “If I can just be left alone for the first 30 minutes of the morning with my coffee, then I’ll be happy.” Or maybe, “No car is allowed in the passing lane if it isn’t passing or I will be unjustifiably hindered and upset.” These are just a few, simple and almost comical rules that some of us have. But this addiction is no laughing matter. Some of us have complicated, deep-seated rules that are seldom met and leave us riddled with anxiety.
Some rules are, let’s be honest, must-haves. For example, “I must be free of abuse in order to be at peace” is a valid rule. But today we’re talking about rules that go beyond basic needs and fall into the category of entitlement.
When we feel entitled, we create rules or we appropriate existing rules that we think will get us what we desire. And we almost always tailor the rules so that they benefit us, even if it means that others are shut out from getting what they want. Control subjugates others. They become necessary slaves to our rules.
The logical conclusion of this strategy of living – this addiction to control – is increased anxiety, fleeting pleasures, never-ending stalemates between your rules and those of others, exhaustion, and unhappiness. Like a long-time addict, the pursuit of the “control” substance takes a terrible toll.
There is an alternative, though. A way that leads to freedom from addiction and the experience of true peace.
And that is the subject of today’s episode.
Source Scripture
Relinquish Control: Matthew 12:1-8; Mark 2:23-28; Luke 6:1-5
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Twitter: @AwestruckPod
Email: info@awestruckpodcast.com
Extras
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The truth lies within you. If you’re true in what you do, you’ll meet with the truth. If you’re not, you’ll meet only with the things that are fake and imitation. Ajahn Fuang [Ah’-jun Foo’ung]
The drug addict pursues an altered state of experience through the intake of substance. Over time, the ill effects of long-term addiction take their toll on the individual. Without the intervention of loved ones or some form of rehabilitation that leads to sobriety, the addict spirals out of control. The end result is a miserable and shortened life.
This form of addiction we comprehend. But there is another addiction, just as sinister if not more so, that society and large and we ourselves may never recognize – even though the long-term effects are just the same – a miserable and shortened life.
This subtle form of addiction, like drug addiction, is an attachment to a substance that we believe will bring us positive experience, but in reality is nothing more than cheapened and dangerous imitation that fails to fulfill the experiences we seek.
The experience sought in this form of addiction is love. And by love I mean the experience of knowing that one or more others seek our presence, validate our worth, and long to know us more.
The substance of this addiction – the attachment – is approval. We make the mistake of equating love with approval based on something we do, possess, or appear to be. And once this attachment – this substance – has us in its grips, we become lost in the addiction of seeking the approval of others.
No different than the drug addict, those of us addicted to approval build our entire lives around acquiring our substance. Nothing else matters. Before long, we become inwardly grotesque – no different than the pictures we see of drug addicts at their worst. With each temporary high we get from approval, we later come down and crash. The substance of approval is fake love. Imitation love. And it leaves us only wanting more because we cannot imagine that love is anything else.
Today we are going to take a hard look at what a life built on seeking the approval of others does to the human soul. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we will also take a look at what we can do to break the cycle of addiction and experience a life filled with authentic, true, divine love.
Today won’t be easy, but it will be true. It will be real. It will expose the addiction you have, the substance you crave, and the lengths you have gone to that contort your life to have it. But it will also show you the way out. The way to break the cycle. The way to find and experience true love.
Source Scripture
Real Love Awaits: John 5:41-47
Connect
Twitter: @AwestruckPod
Email: info@awestruckpodcast.com
Extras