When lenity and cruelty play for a kingdom, the gentler gamester is the soonest winner. William Shakespeare
The day is June 5th, 1989. The city, Beijing, China, is soaked in the blood of soldiers, students, and bystanders after the Chinese army’s violent suppression of protests in Tiananmen Square.
A column of four tanks, just like the one that had plowed through a crowd hours earlier and killed eleven people, is rolling down the street near the square. An unknown person, known since that day only as Tank Man, walks in front of the steel beasts that could easily crush him. He stops. His arms, carrying shopping bags, are down by his side. He makes no gesture of hate. He has nothing with which to attack. He simply stands there, facing them, knowing that he possesses no power whatsoever with which to physically halt the oncoming instruments of war.
The tanks attempt to maneuver around the man, but he calmly shifts his position to stand in their path. The choice becomes clear. Those in power must decide whether to use it and kill a man who calmly stands there or to stop.
The captains cut the power to their engines.
The photo that captures this moment and the story behind it is awe-striking. What captivates us, in this case, is the wonder of how gentleness can be as or more powerful than murderous military force.
The gentleness with which a single man subdued a column of tanks that could have easily taken his life is known as meekness. And in today’s episode, we will explore how we can tap the forces within in order to forego the forces without, transforming both ourselves and our world with the gentle power of meekness.
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I should very much like to live in a universe which was governed by such lines [where happiness and kindness abound and they always lead to good things]. But since it is abundantly clear that I don’t, and since I have reason to believe, nevertheless, that God is Love, I conclude that my conception of love needs correction. … Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness. … Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object becomes good or bad, provided only that it escapes suffering. C.S. Lewis
When suffering strikes, we seek instant relief. Our instinct is to eliminate the suffering by locating the source and then elude it, shield ourselves, or counterattack.
These tactics are natural and necessary, but what are we to do when they fail us? What do we do with the suffering for which we cannot pinpoint the source? Or, perhaps even worse, how do we endure suffering from an obvious cause but no method of escape?
We deem inescapable suffering as intolerable. And why shouldn’t we? Our underlying definition of the good life excludes all forms of suffering. We spend countless hours and dollars creating and purchasing insulation from suffering.
And yet still, it finds us. And when it does, our desperation to escape the inescapable sends us into wailing and writhing under its weight. And finding it unbearable to remain still, we run down every dead-end road that offers an appearance of relief, only to find none.
We play the victim, crying out for sympathy. We play the blame game, seeking respite in revenge. We reread our certificates of entitlement and petition the world to take note. We ingest numbing agents. We preoccupy ourselves with pleasure. We fortify our defenses against further pain. We deny the very existence of our suffering, but it only reappears in the camouflage of anger, busyness, or anxiety. Or we succumb to hopelessness and drag ourselves through each day.
None of these solutions produce true comfort. But there is another that does. And that solution is mourning – pure mourning – free of impurities, additives, and alternatives. When we enter the state of true mourning, we finally find comfort. And, we find ourselves.
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